Umm Sulaym (Rumaysah bint Milhan) (RA)
Early Life and Character:
Even before the religion of Islam was, Rumaysa was well-renowned for her excellent character.
Rumaysa bint Milhan was more commonly known as Umm Sulaym.
Marriage to Malik ibn an-Nadr:
Umm Sulaym was married to Malik ibn an-Nadr.
Son – Anas ibn Malik:
Umm Sulaym’s son was one of the greatest companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Anas ibn Malik.
Sister – Umm Haram:
Umm Sulaym also had a well-known sister, Umm Haram, the wife of Ubadah ibn as-Samit.
Embracing Islam:
Umm Sulaym was one of the first women of Madinah to accept Islam. She was influenced by Mus’ab ibn Umayr, who was sent out to Madinah as the first ambassador of Islam by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Secret Acceptance of Islam:
Umm Sulaym accepted Islam without her husband Malik ibn an-Nadr knowing, as he was absent from Yathrib (Madinah) at the time but when Malik returned, he realised something had changed.
He asked his wife: Have you been rejuvenated? Umm Sulaym replied: No, but I now believe in this man. (referring to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ).
Tension with Malik ibn an-Nadr:
Malik ibn an-Nadr was very disappointed when he heard this news and Umm Sulaym then went on to announce her acceptance of Islam.
After this, she would then teach her son Anas ibn Malik about the religion of Islam.
Anas ibn Malik learnt how to say: ‘La ilaha illa Allah and Ash hadu anna Muhammadar Rasulullah’, from his mother.
Malik ibn an-Nadr was angered by this, and he shouted: Don’t corrupt my son!
Surprise Death of Malik ibn an-Nadr:
Umm Sulaym’s husband, Malik ibn an-Nadr then reportedly was set up by an enemy and was killed.
Umm Sulaym was very upset by this but she stayed strong and focused her attention on supporting her son Anas ibn Malik.
Umm Sulaym’s Marriage Proposal from Abu Talha:
After the death of Malik ibn an-Nadr, a man named Zayd ibn Sahl, known as Abu Talha al-Ansari, wanted to marry her. He belonged to the same clan as Umm Sulaym, the Banu Najjar.
Abu Talha went to Umm Sulaym’s house and asked for her hand in marriage. Umm Sulaym replied: A man like you, Abu Talha is not (easily) turned away. But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir, a disbeliever!
Abu Talha al-Ansari told her: What is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?
Umm Sulaym was shocked by this and replied: Gold and silver? I swear to you, Abu Talha, and I swear to Allah and His Messenger that if you accept Islam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance of Islam as my mahr.
Umm Sulaym’s Dawah to Abu Talha:
Umm Sulaym then said: Don’t you know Abu Talha, that the god you worship besides Allah grew from the earth? Abu Talha al-Ansari acknowledged this and admitted: That is true.
Umm Sulaym continued: Don’t you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree while you use the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? If you should give up these foolish beliefs and practices and become a Muslim, Abu Talha, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah apart from your acceptance of Islam.
Abu Talha al-Ansari asked: Who shall instruct me in Islam? Umm Sulaym replied: I shall. Abu Talha asked: How?
Umm Sulaym responded: Utter the declaration of truth and testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Then go to your house, destroy your idol and throw it away.
Abu Talha’s Acceptance of Islam:
Abu Talha al-Ansari left and thought about the religion of Islam that Umm Sulaym had informed him of.
He came back to her and said: I have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is no God but Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.
The Most Valuable Mahr:
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talha were now married and the Muslims would say about this marriage: we have never heard of a mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym.
This was because, Umm Sulaym was satisfied with Abu Talha accepting Islam as her mahr.
Life with Abu Talha:
Abu Talha and Umm Sulaym were both devoted to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and Islam.
Special Bond with the Prophet:
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would often visit Umm Sulaym’s house.
On one occasion, the Prophet fell asleep at her house and when he woke up from his nap, he asked: Umm Sulaym, what are you doing?
Umm Sulaym replied: I am taking these (drops of sweat) off your head as a barakah (blessing) which comes from you.
On another occasion, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ went to her house and Umm Sulaym offered him dates and butterfat but he did not have any because he was fasting.
Out of the respect and admiration she had for the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Umm Sulaym would send her son Anas ibn Malik with bags of dates to his house.
The Prophet On His Close Bond with Umm Sulaym:
The companions realised that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had a special relationship with Umm Sulaym’s family.
When asked about this, the Prophet replied: Her brother (Haram bin Milhan) was killed beside me.
Deaths of Umm Haram and Abu Talha:
Umm Sulaym‘s sister, Umm Haram was martyred during the first Muslim naval expedition and she was buried in Cyprus.
Umm Sulaym’s husband, Abu Talha, also died while he was on a naval expedition during the caliph of Uthman ibn Affan and he was buried at sea.
Umm Sulaym’s Courage in Battle:
During the Battle of Uhud, Umm Sulaym gave water to the soldiers and tried to defend the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ when the Quraysh plotted to attack him.
At the Battle of Khandaq, the Prophet saw her carrying a dagger and asked her what she was doing with it. Umm Sulaym replied: It is to fight those who desert.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ responded: May Allah grant you satisfaction in that.
Strength in Trials:
One of her young sons, Umayr became ill and passed away.
Umm Sulaym’s husband, Abu Talha was out of town at the time and she had the strength and courage to keep this from him until he returned home.
Umm Sulaym’s Son Abdullah ibn Abu Talha:
Umm Sulaym had another son called Abdullah ibn Abu Talha.
A few days after he was born, Umm Sulaym sent her sons Anas ibn Malik and Abdullah ibn Abu Talha with a bag of dates to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Blessing of the Prophet:
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ placed the baby on his lap and he crushed the dates in his mouth and put some in the baby’s mouth.
The baby sucked the dates and the Prophet said: The Ansar are only fond of dates.
Umm Sulaym’s Grandchildren:
When Abdullah ibn Abi Talha grew up, he had seven children and all of them memorised the Quran.
Umm Sulaym’s Death:
Umm Sulaym passed away in Madinah from natural causes in the year 28 AH.