Episode 4: Life of Umar ibn al-Khattab
The Influence of the Women of Madinah and the Wives of the Prophet:
Umar ibn al-Khattab mentioned that the women of the Quraysh were generally very submissive to their husbands and they would immediately obey any commands from their husbands.
As for the women of the Ansar, they were different and would argue with their husbands and raise their voices.
Umar ibn al-Khattab narrated that one day when he was in Madinah, he had an argument with his wife and she spoke back to him.
Umar was surprised by this as his wife never spoke back to him before and he said: How dare you speak back to me? What makes you think you can speak back to me?
Umar’s wife replied: Even the wives of Rasoolullah talk back to him, so why wouldn’t I speak back to you?
Umar’s Concern for the Prophet:
Umar ibn al-Khattab was concerned for the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, instead of thinking about his own wife talking back to him. He asked his wife: Do the wives of the Prophet actually speak back to him?
Umar’s wife confirmed this and she said: sometimes they (wives of the Prophet) do not even talk to him for the rest of the day.
Umar’s Concern for His Daughter Hafsa and the Prophet’s Wives:
Umar ibn al-Khattab became afraid for his daughter Hafsa, who was one of the wives of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Umar said: How dare any one of the wives of the Prophet talk back to him? How can they stay upset to the extent where they do not talk to him for the rest of the day?
Umar ibn al-Khattab then said: Whoever does this, they have done something huge, something very severe and dangerous.
Immediately after hearing this, he went straight into the city and went to his daughter’s house.
Umar asked Hafsa: Do you wives of the Prophet get into arguments with him and you do not talk to him until nightfall? Hafsa confirmed this and said: Yes, sometimes this happens.
Umar was very upset and said to his daughter: O Hafsa, you have failed and you have lost. By having this type of behaviour with the Messenger of Allah, this is a huge loss for you and this is a failure on your part.
Umar asked his daughter: Aren’t you afraid that by dealing like this with the Messenger of Allah, that you may make him upset and if you make him upset, what will save you from the anger of Allah?
Umar’s Advice to Hafsa:
Umar ibn al-Khattab then advised his daughter: Don’t ever, ever raise your voice and talk back to the Prophet, and don’t ask him for too many things/demands because that might bother him.
Umar said: If you need anything, don’t ask him and come to me instead. And don’t think that if your neighbour Aisha is interacting with the Prophet in that way (talking back to him), then you can do it too. Aisha is more beautiful than you and she is more beloved to Muhammad than you are.
Umar’s Advice to Umm Salamah and her Reaction:
Umar ibn al-Khattab left the house of Hafsa and went to the house of Umm Salamah, who he gave the same advice to.
However, Umm Salamah did not like Umar getting involved in this matter as she felt that this was something that was personal between the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his wives.
Umm Salamah was upset with Umar and said: I’m shocked at you O son of Al-Khattab. You get involved in every matter and now you want to get involved in matters that are between the Messenger of Allah and his wives. Why do you need to get involved in these personal matters?
Rumours of the Prophet Divorcing His Wives:
Upon hearing this, Umar ibn al-Khattab left and went back to Madinah where he worked with a friend from the Ansar.
One day, Umar was on the outskirts of the city and the friend from the Ansar went to Madinah to get news from the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
When the night came, the friend from the Ansar came back and banged hard on the door of Umar.
Umar ibn al-Khattab was shocked by this and he quickly went to the door and asked: what is going on? The Ansari man replied: Something huge has happened.
During that period of time, the Muslims were expecting the Christians from Ghassan (Byzantine Romans) to come into Madinah and attack them.
The first thought that came to the mind of Umar was that perhaps the Christians from Ghassan had come to Madinah and attacked the Muslims, so he asked: Have the Christians from Ghassan come and attacked Madinah?
The man from the Ansar replied: No, but something even bigger and more serious has happened.
He told Umar ibn al-Khattab: the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has divorced all of his wives.
Sadness of the Prophet:
Umar ibn al-Khattab immediately felt a sense of fear for his daughter Hafsa, and he said: Oh no, if the Messenger of Allah has divorced his wives and Hafsa is amongst them, surely she has failed and lost.
Umar put on his clothes and went in the middle of the night to Madinah, where he prayed Fajr behind the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in his Masjid (Masjid al-Nabawi).
After Fajr, without speaking to anyone, the Prophet ﷺ went to his room.
Umar then went to Hafsa’s house and saw his daughter crying and he asked her: Why are you crying? Didn’t I warn you not to bother the Prophet?
Umar asked his daughter: Has the Messenger of Allah divorced you and his other wives? Hafsa replied: I don’t know.
Umar ibn al-Khattab went back to the mosque and he saw some people by the mimbar, sitting there crying.
Because the Prophet becoming upset, they were also upset. The happiness of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was more important to the companions than their own.
Umar sat with them for a while and then went up to the Prophet’s room, hoping to speak to him.
There was a servant of the Prophet at the door and Umar told the servant: Can you go and tell the Messenger of Allah that Umar asks for permission to come in and see him.
The servant went and told the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ but he remained silent.
The servant came back and informed Umar ibn al-Khattab: I told him that you were here and asked for permission to come in, but he did not say anything.
Umar ibn al-Khattab went back to the mimbar and sat with the companions who were crying. However, he could not remain patient so he went back a second time to the room where the Prophet was.
Again, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was silent and the servant notified Umar about this.
Umar ibn al-Khattab then went back to the mimbar again before approaching the room of the Prophet again but for a third time, the Prophet did not say anything.
Meeting with the Prophet:
Umar ibn al-Khattab now started to leave but as he was walking away, the servant caught up with him and called him back.
The servant told Umar that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ agreed to let him enter the room.
Umar went inside the room of the Prophet ﷺ and he found him lying down on a rough mat. He gave Salaams to the Prophet and asked: Ya Rasoolullah, have you divorced your wives?
The Prophet looked up and said: No, I did not divorce them.
This was a huge relief for Umar ibn al-Khattab but he still could see that the Prophet was upset.
Umar ibn al-Khattab wanted to cheer the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ up and lighten his mood, so he said: Ya Rasoolullah, our women of the Quraysh used to be so submissive and obedient to us, they never used to raise their voices and argue with us. But now, since we moved to Madinah, our women have become influenced by the women of the Ansar.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ smiled when he said this and Umar was very happy to see this.
Umar ibn al-Khattab continued: Ya Rasoolullah, I told my daughter: Don’t think that if your neighbour (Aisha) is talking back to the Prophet, you could do the same thing as well. I told Hafsa that Aisha is more beautiful than you and more beloved to the Prophet.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ smiled again and after seeing him smile for a second time, Umar ibn al-Khattab sat down.
Umar looked around the small room of the Prophet and later said: There was nothing in the room that would make you look twice.
This was because, the Prophet’s room was so simple that nothing would catch the attention of people’s eyes.
The Prophet Reminds Umar of the Akhirah over the Dunya:
When Umar ibn al-Khattab saw this, he said to the Prophet: Ya Rasoolullah, make Dua to Allah that Allah gives your Ummah wealth. Look at this room of yours, there is nothing here.
Umar continued: the Romans, the Byzantines, the Persians, even though they do not worship Allah SWT, still Allah has given them so much wealth. They live lavishly and luxuriously.
When the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ heard these words, he went from lying down to sitting up, and he said: Do you have any doubt O son of Al-Khattab? Those people who you are talking about, they are people who Allah has given them good things, wealth and luxury in this Dunya, but in the Akhirah they will not have anything.
The Prophet ﷺ continued: Aren’t you satisfied and happy O Umar, that those people can have the Dunya, but we get the Akhirah.
Umar ibn al-Khattab realised the truth in the words of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and he replied: Ya Rasoolullah, ask Allah for forgiveness from me. I should not have said this.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ then made Dua for Allah SWT to forgive Umar ibn al-Khattab for what he had said.
The Prophet Stays Away from His Wives for a Month:
During this incident, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stayed away from his wives for a whole month to teach them a lesson.
After 29 days, the first wife the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ went to was Aisha bint Abi Bakr, who was surprised to see him as she was expecting him to stay away for thirty days.
Aisha said: You said one month, but this is only 29 days and I have been counting them one by one.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ replied: 29 days is a month.
This was where the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ ended the period of isolation from his wives.
Revelation of the Verse of Choice on the Wives of the Prophet:
It was around this period of time that the following Ayat was revealed regarding the wives of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ told Aisha: Allah has revealed these verses. These verses tell me to give you a choice. I am going to give you this choice but don’t answer immediately. First, you can consult your parents and get their advice regarding your answer.
Aisha bint Abi Bakr said: I know for sure, whatever the choice is, my parents will never ever tell me to make a choice to leave you.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ recited these verses to Aisha: ‘O Prophet! Say to your wives, ‘If you desire the life of this world and its luxury, then come, I will give you a ˹suitable˺ compensation ˹for divorce˺ and let you go graciously. But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the ˹everlasting˺ Home of the Hereafter, then surely Allah has prepared a great reward for those of you who do good.” (Quran, 33:28-29)
The Prophet’s Wives Response To These Ayats:
When Aisha bint Abi Bakr heard the verses and what the choices were, she said to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: Ya Rasoolullah, do I even need to consult my parents for this? This is an easy choice. Surely, I want Allah, I want his Messenger and I want the Abode of the Hereafter (Jannah).
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ then went to all of his wives and presented them with these Ayats and all of the wives of the Prophet made the same choice as Aisha.