Chapter 5: When Parents Are Not Muslims
In the Quran, Allah SWT mentions examples of believers whose parents did not accept Islam, but they continued to treat them with kindness and respect.
Surah Luqman (31) Ayat 14-15:
Translation of Ayats 14-15:
- And We have commanded people to honour their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.
- But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turn to Me in devotion. Then to Me you will all return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do. (Quran, 31:14-15)
Explanation of Ayats 14-15:
- Here, Allah SWT commands us to be dutiful to our parents and highlights the role of the mother specifically.
- However, Allah then mentions that if parents try to make their child commit shirk or leave Islam, the child must not obey them.
- Allah says: “Still keep their company in this world courteously” – meaning: speak to them respectfully, treat them well and maintain good character even if they are non-Muslim.
Incident Regarding Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas and His Mother:
- Mus’ab ibn Sa’d reported from his father, Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, that an Ayat of the Quran was revealed because of him. (Quran, 31:15)
- Mus’ab said: The mother of Sa’d swore that she would never speak to him unless he leaves his religion, and that she would not eat or drink. She said: You claim that Allah has commanded you with obedience to parents, then I am your mother and I order you with this (to reject Islam).
- Mus’ab ibn Sa’d continued: She stayed like this for three days, until she became unconscious from the difficulties.
- Her son then gave her a drink and she began to supplicate against Sa’d but then, Allah SWT sent down this Ayat in the Quran.
Surah Al-Ankabut (29) Ayat 8:
Translation of Ayat 8:
- We have commanded people to honour their parents. But if they urge you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them. To Me you will all return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do. (Quran, 29:8)
Explanation of Ayat 8:
- In this Ayat, Allah SWT again orders us to be good and dutiful to our parents.
- Allah says: “We have commanded people to honour their parents.” – meaning: showing kindness to parents is an obligation for all believers.
- “But if they urge you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them.” – Here, Allah SWT mentions once again that if the parents pressure their child to commit shirk or any form of disobedience, the child must not obey them.
- Once again, this Ayat is linked to the story of Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, whose mother tried to force him to leave Islam by refusing to eat and drink. Despite this, Sa’d remained firm in his belief.
Surah Maryam (19) Ayats 41-45:
Translation of Ayats 41-45:
- And mention in the Book (O Prophet, the story of) Abraham. He was surely a man of truth and a prophet.
- (Remember) when he said to his father, “O dear father! Why do you worship what can neither hear nor see, nor benefit you at all?”
- O dear father! I have certainly received some knowledge which you have not received, so follow me and I will guide you to the Straight Path.
- O dear father! Do not worship Satan. Surely Satan is ever rebellious against the Most Compassionate.
- O dear father! I truly fear that you will be touched by a torment from the Most Compassionate, and become Satan’s companion (in Hell). (Quran, 19:41-45)
Explanation of Ayats 41-45:
- These Ayats show how Prophet Ibrahim (AS) informed his father of believing in Allah alone, with gentleness and respect.
- Prophet Ibrahim (AS) would continue to address him with kindness despite his father remaining in a state of disbelief.
- These Ayats show that even when parents are wrong, they should still be treated with kindness, patience and good character.
Hadith Regarding Asma’s Mother:
It was related from Asma bint Abi Bakr, who said: My mother came to me and she was a polytheist in the time of the Messenger of Allah so I asked the Prophet about this. I said: My mother has come to me and she is in need, should I make ties with her.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ replied: Yes, make ties with your mother. (Bukhari)
Incident Regarding Abu Hurayrah’s Mother:
Abu Hurayrah reported: I used to invite my mother to Islam while she was a polytheist. I invited her one day and she said something about Allah’s Messenger which I hated.
I came to the Prophet, weeping and I said: O Messenger of Allah, I invited my mother to Islam but she did not accept my invitation. I invited her today and she said something which I did not like, so supplicate to Allah that He may guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ then said: O Allah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah.
Abu Hurayrah continued: I came out pleased with the supplication of the Messenger of Allah and when I came to her door, it was closed. My mother heard the sound of my footsteps and she said: Wait there, Abu Hurayrah.
She took a bath, put on a jilbaab, quickly covered her head and she opened the door and said: Abu Hurayrah, I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah alone and Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Abu Hurayrah said: I went back to the Messenger of Allah and I was shedding tears of joy. I said: O Messenger of Allah, be happy for Allah answered your supplications, and He has guided the mother of Abu Hurayrah.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ praised Allah and exalted Him.
Abu Hurayrah then narrated: I said: O Messenger of Allah, supplicate to Allah that He may instil love into me and into my mother for the believing servants, and make them love us.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: O Allah, let there be love of these servants of yours (Abu Hurayrah and his mother), in the hearts of the believing servants and let their hearts be filled with love of the believing servants.
Abu Hurayrah said: Then, no believer was ever born who heard of me and who saw me, except that he loved me. (Muslim)