Asma bint Abi Bakr (RA)
noble Lineage and Family Ties:
Father – Abu Bakr:
Asma’s father, Abu Bakr, was a close friend of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the first Caliph after he passed away.
Sister – Aisha bint Abi Bakr:
Her half-sister, Aisha, was a wife of the Prophet and one of the Ummahat al-Mu’minin, the Mothers of the Believers.
Husband – Az-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam:
Her husband, Az-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, was one of the greatest companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Son: Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr:
Her son, Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr was also well-renowned for his devotion to Islam.
Among the First to Accept Islam:
Asma bint Abi Bakr was one of the first people to accept Islam and around seventeen people accepted Islam before her.
The Title of ‘Dhat an-Nitaqayn’ (The One With the Two Waistbands):
Asma bint Abi Bakr was given the nickname ‘Dhat an-Nitaqayn’ (the One with the Two Waistbands) because of an incident that occurred when the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and her father, Abu Bakr left from Makkah to Madinah.
Asma was one of the few people who knew of the Prophet’s plan to leave for Madinah and there was a lot of secrecy behind this because of the Quraysh’ plans to murder the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
On the night the Prophet and Abu Bakr left, Asma bint Abi Bakr was the one who prepared a bag of food and water for their journey. However, she did not find anything to tie the containers and decided to use her waistband.
Her father, Abu Bakr suggested that she rip the waistband into two and from then on, she became known as ‘the One with the Two Waistbands’.
Migration to Madinah and Birth of Her Son:
When the migration from Makkah to Madinah took place after the departure of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Asma bint Abi Bakr became pregnant.
As soon as she reached Quba on the outskirts of Madinah, she gave birth to a son, Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr.
The Muslims shouted: Allahu Akbar, (God is the Greatest) and Laa ilaaha illa Allah (There is no God but Allah) in happiness and joy because this was the first child to be born to the muhajireen in Madinah.
Generosity of Asma bint Abi Bakr:
Asma bint Abi Bakr was known to be a very generous person and her son, Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr once said: I have not seen two women more generous than my aunt Aisha and my mother Asma. But their generosity was expressed in different ways. My aunt would accumulate one thing after another until she had gathered what she felt was sufficient and then distributed it all to those in need. My mother, on the other hand, would not keep anything even for the next day.
Strength and Wisdom in Adversity:
When her father Abu Bakr left Makkah, he took all his wealth, which was around six thousand dirhams, with him and did not leave anything for his family.
When Abu Bakr’s father, Abu Quhafah, who was a non-Muslim at the time, heard his son had left for Madinah, he went to his house and said to Asma: I understand that he has left you bereft of money after he himself has abandoned you.
Asma replied: No, grandfather, in fact he has left us a lot of money.
Asma bint Abi Bakr took some pebbles and put them in a small bag on the wall where they used to put money. She threw a cloth over it and took the hand of her grandfather (who was blind) and said: see how much money he has left us.
Asma did this because she did not want to receive any assistance from a Mushrik (someone who associates partners with Allah) even if it was her own grandfather.
Guidance on Family Ties:
Her mother, Qutaylah, once came to visit her in Madinah. She was not a Muslim and was divorced from her father, Abu Bakr before Islam.
Her mother once bought her gifts consisting of food. At first, Asma bint Abi Bakr refused to let her mother into her house and did not accept the gifts. She sent someone to Aisha bint Abi Bakr to ask the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ about her attitude to her mother.
Aisha bint Abi Bakr then told her half-sister Asma that she should let her mother in her house and accept the gifts from her.
The following revelation came to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ: ‘Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who do not fight you because of your faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them. Allah loves those who are just. Allah only forbids you with regard to those who fight you for your Faith, and drive you from your homes, and support others in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and protection). It is such as turning to them (in these circumstances) that do wrong’. (Quran, 60:8-9).
A Life of Simplicity and Hardship:
At the start of her life in Madinah, Asma bint Abi Bakr found life quite challenging as her husband, Az-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam was poor and his only possession was a horse he had bought.
Incident with Asma and the Prophet:
Asma bint Abi Bakr once said: I used to provide fodder for the horse, give it water and groom it. I would grind grain and make dough but I could not bake well. The women of the Ansar used to bake for me. They were truly good women. I used to carry the grain on my head from Az-Zubayr’s plot which the Prophet had allocated to him to cultivate. It was about three farsakh (about eight kilometres) from the town’s centre.
Asma continued: one day I was on the road carrying the grain on my head when I met the Prophet and a group of Sahabah. He called out to me and stopped his camel so that I could ride behind him. I felt embarrassed to travel with the Prophet and also remembered Az-Zubayr’s jealousy, he was the most jealous of men. The Prophet realised that I was embarrassed and carried on riding
Asma then informed Az-Zubayr exactly what had happened and he replied: By Allah, that you should have to carry grain is far more distressing to me than your riding with (the Prophet).
Patience in Marriage and Trust in Allah SWT:
Asma and her husband Az-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam worked hard until their situation of poverty changed.
However, Az-Zubayr would sometimes treat Asma bint Abi Bakr harshly and on one occasion, she went to her father Abu Bakr and complained about her husband.
Abu Bakr replied: My daughter, have sabr for if a woman has a righteous husband and he dies and she does not marry after him, they will be brought together again in Paradise.
Steadfast Principles:
Az-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam eventually became one of the richest men among the companions of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Despite this, Asma bint Abi Bakr did not allow this to affect her principles. Her son, Al-Mundhir once sent her a dress from Iraq which was very expensive.
Asma was blind at this time, but when she felt the material of this clothing, she said: It’s awful! Take it back to him.
Al-Mundhir was upset and said: Mother, it was not transparent. Asma bint Abi Bakr replied: It may not be transparent but it is too tight fitting and shows the contours of the body.
The Final Stand of Her Son Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr.
Later on, Asma’s son, Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr was one of the companions that was linked to the role of the Caliph after the death of Yazid ibn Muawiyah.
Most of the Arabian Peninsula and the residents of Egypt, Iraq, Khurasan and Syria wanted Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr to be the Caliph.
However, the Umayyads did not agree with him being the Caliph and they organised a massive army under the command of Al-Hajjaj ibn Yusuf ath-Thaqafi.
A battle occurred between the two sides where Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr showed great courage. Despite this, most of his army could not withstand the fighting and they ran away.
Asma bint Abi Bakr’s Advice for Her Son:
Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr then sought refuge in Makkah and he told his mother, Asma: The people have deserted me out of fear of Al-Hajjaj or being tempted by what he has to offer. Even my children and my family have left me. There is only a small group of men with me now and however strong and steadfast they are they can only resist for an hour or two more. Messengers of the Banu Umayyah (the Umayyads) are now negotiating with me, offering to give me whatever worldly possessions I want, should I lay down my arms and swear allegiance to Abdul Malik ibn Marwan. What do you think?
Asma bint Abi Bakr replied: It’s your affair, Abdullah, and you know yourself better. If however you think that you are right and that you are standing up for the Truth, then persevere and fight on as your companions who were killed under your flag had shown perseverance. If however you desire the world, what a miserable wretch you are. You would have destroyed yourself and you would have destroyed your men.
Abdullah replied: But I will be killed today, there is no doubt about it. Asma then replied: That is better for you than that you should surrender yourself to Hajjaj voluntarily and that some minions of Banu Umayyah should play with your head.
Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr continued: I do not fear death. I am only afraid that they will mutilate me. Asma replied: There is nothing after death that man should be afraid of. Skinning does not cause any pain to the slaughtered sheep.
Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr said to Asma bint Abi Bakr: What a blessed mother! Blessed be your noble qualities! I have come to you at this hour to hear what I have heard. Allah knows that I have not weakened or despaired. He is a witness to me that I have not stood up for what I have out of love for this world and its attractions but only out of anger for the sake of Allah. His limits have been transgressed. Here am I, going to what is pleasing to you. So if I am killed, do not grieve for me and commend me to Allah.
Asma replied: I shall grieve for you, only if you are killed in vain or an unjust cause.
Abdullah then said: Be assured that your son has not supported an unjust cause, nor committed any detestable deed, nor done any injustice to a Muslim or a Dhimmi (People of the Book) and that there is nothing better in his sight than the pleasure of Allah, the Mighty, the Great. I do not say this to exonerate myself. Allah knows that I have only said it to make your heart firm and steadfast.
Asma bint Abi Bakr responded: Praise be to Allah who has made you act according to what He likes and according to what I like. Come close to me, my son, that I may smell and feel your body for this might be the last meeting with you.
Final Advice to Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr:
Before leaving, Asma bint Abi Bakr asked her son: What is this you are wearing, Abdullah? Abdullah replied: this is my armour plate.
Asma bint Abu Bakr then advised her son: This, my son, is not the dress of one who desires martyrdom. Take it off. That will make your movements lighter and quicker. Wear instead the sirwal (a long undergarment) so that if you are killed your awrah will not be exposed.
Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr listened to his mother’s advice and took off his armour plate and wore the sirwal.
Asma bint Abi Bakr’s Dua:
As he left to join the battle he said: My mother, don’t deprive me of your Dua.
Asma raised her hands to the heavens and prayed: O Lord, have mercy on his staying up for long hours and his loud crying in the darkness of the night while people slept. O Lord, have mercy on his hunger and his thirst on his journeys from Madinah and Makkah while he fasted. O Lord, bless his righteousness to his mother and his father. O Lord, I commend him to Your cause and I am pleased with whatever You decree for him. And grant me for his sake the reward of those who are patient and who persevere.
Deaths of Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr and his Mother Asma bint Abi Bakr :
That same day, Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr was martyred and he was killed by al-Hajjaj ibn Yusuf.
Just over ten days later, Asma bint Abi Bakr passed away at the age of one hundred.
Hadiths Narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr:
Asma narrated: I prepared the journey food for the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and Abu Bakr when they wanted to migrate to Madinah. I said to my father, Abu Bakr: I do not have anything to tie the journey food with except my waist belt. He said: Divide it lengthwise into two. I did so and for this reason I was named ‘Dhat-un-Nitaqain’ (the owner of two belts). (Bukhari)
Asma bint Abu Bakr said: The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ told me: Do not hoard (store money or valuable objects), otherwise Allah will withhold from you. (Bukhari, Muslim)
Asma reported that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: Spend (in charity) and do not calculate, or otherwise Allah will calculate in your case. (Muslim)